Re: Shine On
And so has nickdrake:nickdrake replied to your post: Shine on, you crazy diamond … !
we fear change as people but how are we to progress in life without change. this is a great thing grab it with both hands gurl, you go gurl……shine on baby burn on…good luck….
Thanks! If all goes as planned … there will be shining!
Shine on, you crazy diamond … !
I’m sitting in my office staring at the screen with eyes full of tears.
I can’t tell if they’re tears of joy or sadness or just flat out confusion.
I had a phone interview this morning, a really good one. A creative director took a liking to my portfolio and if things go as planned, he would really like me to start as soon as possible. As in, in 2 weeks.
So what’s the big deal? This (dream) job that almost already planned to hire me in January now wants me to start sooner than anticipated. If the budget for my salary and moving costs get approved, they want me there in exactly 2 weeks. They only have 50+ designers, amazing creative directors, beautiful offices located in a great city … wait a minute WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN THINKING ABOUT HERE? It should be a no-brainer, right?!
Right. This job is out of state—away from everything that I call home. I will be legit alone for the first time ever. No friends or family close by, not just a 3 hour drive away, literally 3 fucking states away. I am honestly scared. And not gonna lie, a little sad.
But this opportunity, this moment … its pretty fucking unbelievable. Something like this, when will it happen to me again? What are the odds that this came at this time in my life? I am young and single and really, other than emotional attachments, there is nothing stopping me from taking this job. This could be the change I need in my life. This could be the job that takes me places, the one that opens infinite doors for me. This could be the fucking time of my life. This might just be my time to shine. We’ll see.
An attempt to empty my head
I have this impending sense of doom following me around.
I have been waiting for an opportunity like this to show up forever and now that it has, it feels … strange. I haven’t even interviewed or even applied yet, and already the thought of change is keeping me up at night.
This would be a big change in my life. Big, big change. But at the same time, if it doesn’t happen, it will feel like a big disappointment. Big, big disappointment. With—and I hate to admit it—a small dose of relief.
I’m so anxious, I can’t even express myself correctly at the time. I just want to fast forward life and see where I landed. I just want to get it over with, whatever the end result is, I just want to fucking know.
Me & Bobby McGee
One day up near Salinas, I let him slip away,
He’s looking for that home and I hope he finds it,
But I’d trade all of my tomorrows for just one yesterday
To be holding Bobby’s body next to mine …