I’ve been questioning life a lot these days.
How certain are we that things happen for a reason? Why are we here? Where is this path leading us? What if we made the wrong decision? Do things happen out of pure coincidence? Does destiny exist? Do we make our own destiny? What if we fuck it up? Do we get another chance? When does one stop making mistakes? Do we learn from every experience we have? Is there really a plan for all of us? Can we change it? Does God exist? Is he the one that makes these decisions for you? How true are we to ourselves? Does chasing after our dreams make us selfish? And if so, is that why we suffer while doing so?
I need answers. Lots of them. And I need them now. I need to know that these experiences are leading me somewhere. Will they make me a better person? Or a bitter one? I have a massive cloud of uncertainty looming over me at this moment and I need something that will calm the tumultuous thoughts in my head. I guess you can say I’m searching for some peace. I’m feeling so very lost and at the moment I don’t know how to find my way back. I miss home. I miss life when it was simple. I miss my family and friends. I need to know if this is where I really belong.
Or … maybe I just need a tv.
Sigh.
The universe doesn’t listen.The universe doesn’t listen when you tell it that you’re tired. Or that you want a day off. Or that you quit.
It just keeps expanding, oblivious to your tiny concerns and your silly wants and your blinkered needs and your searing pains and your occasional triumphs that are, by all accounts, entirely the result of random chance and not talent or hard work or perseverance.
You can shout “I QUIT!” into the unspeakably, unimaginably, sumptuously vast emptiness that is the universe. But it doesn’t listen.
