Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun

As I sit here barely breathing and trying to decipher what the fuck I am doing with this ridiculously awful ad, I just sit and stare at the computer. Images of perfumes and watches on sale flood my screen. I sit and I stare and then I stop. I stop staring and I get lost in thought, what the hell am I doing? What is this? How did I end up here? Do I want to stay here? Is this it? These people that I talk to on a daily basis, how well do I know them? How well do they know me? Can they hear my struggling to breathe? Can they see that I am lost? All these things in my head, I get lost in thought.

Somehow, I drown myself out and start to get lost in something else. I get lost in the music—and this, my friends, is the best kind of lost. The music always saves me. No matter where I am in my life, who I am with or what is happening around (or to) me, the music always comes to my rescue. I know that I can listen to Shine On You Crazy Diamond and for 13 minutes I am comfortable. It’s an odd feeling that I honestly find quite hard to describe, but it’s along the lines of  peaceful; it’s clear it’s … it’s okay. For those 13 minutes I am perfectly sane and okay. If life still sucks or I still have a head full of thoughts or worries at the end of those 13 minutes, guess what? I just hit ‘play’ again and I’m sane for another 13.